More on Communication

Have you ever been in a situation where you are talking to someone and you can literally see their eyes glazing over as you are speaking? You see that you are having an impact as the speaker. Or worse have you ever been in a situation where the person talking to you is going on and on and you have no idea what they are talking about and they don’t realize the impact they are having on you? More importantly, you just want to hear the bottom line of what it is wanted or needed from you.

As the speaker I think it is very important to be aware of the impact you are having. Notice body language, engagement and interest. There are times where it is appropriate to go into details and expand on what you are feeling and thinking and there are also times where you need to be concise and to the point.

In being trained as a coach we were taught how to help a client to or ask a client for the bottom line of what is being communicated. Think of it as a funnel with a tiny opening you are widdling down to the core of what is being said. We often share a lot of story in conversation which is entirely appropriate at the right time. At other times what is needed is simply a yes or no answer. Or the facts. 

Suggestions for clarity.

Read the situation – Determine if the time is appropriate for the conversation. Ex. If your boss has his coat on and has said goodbye, is it the best time to corner him for a chat. Perhaps let he / she know that you would like to talk the next time they are in.

Check for Understanding – Watch the listener’s body language see how what you are saying is landing. Ask questions. Ex. Am I making sense? Are you ok with what I am saying / sharing?

Be concise and to the point – Ask yourself what is it exactly that I want to convey to the listener and share that. Again you can ask if they need more information or clarification.

Check for engagement – Is the listener truly listening to you and what you are saying. If not find out why? Ex. are they focused on you and looking at you or are they watching people around you. If you are talking to someone on the phone, do you have their full attention or are they doing the dishes or checking email. If you listen carefully you will notice.

Scrubs – You talk too much, it’s a problem